6 Steps for Recovering from Infidelity

What to do when you find your partner cheating

What to do when you find your partner cheating

Infidelity is a significant trauma to your relationship. However, being unfaithful is usually a symptom that something was wrong before the cheating began. 

If you recently learned that your partner was cheating on you or was having an affair, your head is likely spinning and you are bursting with questions. Do you still love him or her? How could they do this to you? Did you do something to contribute to your partner straying? Why did this happen? How many details do you want to know? Can you survive the betrayal and work through it together?

Though it can be debilitating, obsessive thinking during this time is normal. You might feel haunted by intrusive memories of when you found out about the affair. Are you playing certain situations out in your head over and over again? As I mentioned, cheating is traumatic and you may experience flashbacks when things "trigger" or remind you of the affair. 

During this chaotic time you'll need to make some really important decisions that will impact whether you will remain in or leave your relationship or marriage.

Before calling it quits, consider these 6 action steps:

  1. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions

  2. Find a couples therapist--CONTACT SAMANTHA for help

  3. Look into individual therapy if you need additional support--having your own private time and space away from your partner to process your thoughts and feelings is helpful

  4. Seek support from loved ones--sometimes people feel alienated because they don’t want anyone to think poorly of their partner so they suffer in silence

  5. Make sure you are sleeping and eating--don't let your physiological needs go out the window, which can further increase symptoms of stress, anxiety, and depression

  6. Talk with your partner to find out whether they can commit to remaining in the relationship until you can get professional help