Heartbreak dragging on and on and on? Wondering when you will ever get over this breakup? Unable to break out of that obsessive thinking about what went wrong? It's time to get out of your head! There are a few things you can do to get over a breakup as quickly as possible and it all comes down to PROCESSING YOUR BREAKUP.
What do I mean by processing? I mean providing yourself the time and space for introspection and self-awareness. Breakup research supports that reflecting on your break up by talking about it and writing down your feelings can help you recover faster from a breakup. So no more suffering in silence!
Want to feel more like yourself again? Put down the booze and ice cream container, and pick up the phone to chat with a supportive friend. A lot of my clients don't do this because they feel like a burden to their friends and family. But alienating and filtering yourself prevents people from supporting you, and this is the time you need their support the most.
If you feel as though you're burning out your natural supports, I highly recommend working with a professional counselor and breakup coach (ahem, like me!). This experience will guide you in exploring your current feelings, managing obsessive thinking, uncovering negative patterns, and reflecting on your love lessons so that you can become a smarter, more intentional dater moving forward.
Writing is also a great way to process your relationship and make a more speedy recovery. Keep a journal nearby and write things down when you start thinking (or obsessing) about your ex. It does not need to be a master piece, no judgement! Just put pen to paper and see what comes out. You could also keep a log, recording the following:
- What thought(s) did I have about my ex/breakup? Ex. I miss him and feel like I'm still not over the relationship
- What situation brought up these thoughts? Ex. I was deleting old pictures of us on Facebook
- What emotions came up? Ex. Sadness, loneliness, anger
- What healthy ways did I cope with these thoughts/feelings? Ex. Go on a run and call my best friend
Of course there are many other tools and strategies you need in order to successfully bounce back from a breakup, such as self-care survival skills, setting healthy boundaries, techniques to manage obsessive thinking, and understanding the neuroscience of a breakup so that you can position yourself in the best way to heal and enter into a happier, healthier relationship with "The One." If you'd like to learn these techniques, you should consider working with Samantha for 1:1 coaching. Samantha will create a customized Breakup Bounce Back plan based upon your specific breakup situation.