Slept with him too soon in hopes that he would want something more? I’ve seen this plan backfire, and the fall out hurts! Check the promiscuity at the door—I promise there are better ways to figuring out how to get a boyfriend that do not involve feeding into the hook-up culture.
Dating Mistake: Sleeping together too soon—You want to get put in the girlfriend category, not hook up rotation!
Typically, men love sexual tension, and although they may want to sleep with you from the get go, allow this tension to build until at least a few dates, or you decide to see each other exclusively. This is a great way to keep him interested. You want to be put in the girlfriend category, not the hook-up rotation! Sex too soon can be like hitting fast forward on the emotional intimacy button, or skipping over it all together. Research has shown women attach more quickly after sex, so what may feel like a connection to you, may just be straight up sex to him.
As a woman, you can still be a sexual tigress—feel free to show a bit of skin, send flirtatious texts, touch his hand or thigh—this will drive him wild! But don’t sleep with him too soon. Sometimes women put so much pressure on themselves, or want a relationship so badly, that they put out too quickly in hopes it will land them a boyfriend. In reality, this can make the man view you as booty call, rather than the girl he wants to bring home to his mother! You want to meet mommy, right?
You can still be confident and flirtatious, but some degree of hard-to-get is a sexy challenge that will work in your favor. Allow the man to court you—it gives him a sense of pride and accomplishment.
Sometimes women think men will like them more if they show them they are good in bed, but ultimately you want this man to respect you, get to know who you really are, and give him time to decide if you are girlfriend material. Equally, the first few dates are time for you to figure out if he is a good match for you—don’t settle for a man just because you want a boyfriend. This is your choice too!
We all have a friend or have heard a story where two people have sex on the first date and wind up married, but that’s typically an exception. Sex too soon can lead to a false sense of connection, attachment, and cloud your judgment.
Both physical and emotional intimacy/chemistry are essential to a successful relationship, but so much of dating success is also about timing. Ultimately, you want to be going out with men who you know are open to a relationship and are just looking for the right gal. I swear they exist, and when they are serious about it, they even put this info right on their dating profiles! So rather than chasing the bad boy, keep an eye out for men confident in wanting a relationship.