DATING RULE #1: You have to be able to stand alone to stand beside another! Be confident, independent, and passionate.
Your happiness and positive energy will attract other people. Empower yourself by realizing that you can be single and happy! Without feeling fulfilled on your own, you can’t have a successful dating life.
- Stay positive – be optimistic and don’t let negative thinking bring you down.
- Prioritize your physical and mental health through exercise, meditation, group fitness classes, yoga, and spending time in nature. Eat right and get plenty of sleep. You’re not at your best unless your physiological needs are met!
- Spend some time doing self-care activities—these are things you do just for yourself that bring you joy or relaxation. Treat this time or event as an appointment for yourself that can’t be blown off.
- Approach life with an open attitude. Be friendly, say yes to social activities, and strike up conversations wherever you go.
- Exude positive body language. Smile (even when you don’t feel like it), laugh, make eye contact, hold your head high, and break the touch barrier when you’re attracted to someone.
- Tell yourself positive things, such as “I deserve love and happiness,” “I am beautiful,” or “I am a catch,” even if they feel silly or you don’t believe it.
- Remind yourself that happiness and confidence are feelings, and all feelings come and go—they aren’t permanent states. By making a conscious effort to be present and embrace happiness and confidence in the moment, you can recognize and savor these emotions.
DATING RULE #2: Date with intent. Know your values and what you want in an ideal partner.
You are an expert on yourself—this is key to remember for a successful dating life! If you’re serious about finding a relationship in which you will be satisfied in the long-term, then knowing your stance on bigger picture topics is essential. If the person you are dating is mature and looking for a relationship, than talking about values and life goals should not scare him or her away. In fact, he or she should be stimulated by and enjoy these conversations!
- Explore your core values and what you prioritize in life. Ask yourself how you feel about culture, religion, parenting, family, money management, career goals, sexual beliefs, socioeconomic status, and environmental preferences.
- Prioritize your needs over your wants. Needs are something you can’t live without, whereas wants are things that are nice to have but are not deal breakers.
- Never compromise your values. Don’t settle. You shouldn’t have to convince yourself that your core values are less important in order to be with someone.
DATING RULE #3: Make dating a priority. Dating requires effort!
Prince charming will not fall into your lap! There is no room for laziness in finding love. Finding your special someone is kind of like landing your dream job. You likely have to work hard to get where you want to be. Maybe you took on a job that wasn’t the best fit, but you learned from it. This works for dating too—you will likely have dates and relationships that don’t work out, but learn from these love lessons to figure out exactly what you want. Then it just take time and energy to create your happily every after!
- Set aside time in your busy schedule to date. Treat this time like an appointment with yourself. For example, every evening login for online dating, or create windows of opportunity to meet people in person. For example, go sit in a café instead of at home in your sweatpants, or sign up for a coed sports team.
- Give yourself a quota! Challenge yourself to message, “like” or “swipe right” on at least 3 profiles per day. The more active you are on the site or app, the more you’ll get out of it.
DATING RULE #4: Get out of your own head!
People clam up because they are nervous and too worried about whether or not their date likes them. News flash—you have to like him or her too! A successful dating life is all about finding someone who comfortably fits into your life.
Be confident in who you are and what you bring to the table. Talk about your interests, and hobbies. This will help you exude passion, which is very attractive.
Ask questions. Try open-ended questions, such as “what is your family like,” “what is your dream vacation,” “tell me about your job,” “where do you want to go in your career,” or “what do you do for fun?” Open-ended questions lead to further discussions and help you gather information about this person. Just remember, you’re not on a job interview, so make sure you each have airtime!
As you now know, dating is about becoming a better expert on yourself, and loving who you are. Allow your beautiful personality to shine and tell yourself you are worthy of love. If you adhere to these four dating rules, you’ll be on your way to meeting your perfect match.