Back away from the credit card.
You feel like you’ve got it all going on. You’ve been hitting the gym, have a trendy wardrobe, went to a competitive college and lease a sexy car — so why are you still single?
Many Millennials want it all and have it all, EXCEPT for that special person to share it with.
If the only thing you're missing is a relationship, maybe it's time to question whether having it all, ironically, makes you less desirable and dateable.
“Having it all” means you could have debt or made financial mistakes along the way. Money matters. And how you spend, save, and manage it apparently matters A LOT.
According to Time:
- 88 percent of millennials say they care strongly about financial responsibility, whereas only 58 percent say they care strongly about sexual prowess.
- 41 percent of millennials say a lot of debt is unattractive.
- 32 percent of millennials say high earning potential is important in a partner.
One survey by freecreditscore.com found that women view financial responsibility and sexual intimacy as equally important when evaluating a partner’s compatibility. In the same survey, men prioritized sex/intimacy and life goals slightly higher than financial responsibility, but it still ranked above other important factors, such as family planning, career goals, religion/spirituality and politics.
All of these are core values that define us as individuals, and when aligned with a partner’s values, this helps to create a successful long-term relationship.
Even if you have physical chemistry, your financial mistakes could be killing your dating mojo!
If you're an impulsive shopper, tend to spend above your means or have a lot of debt, this may unknowingly decrease your level of attractiveness to potential partners. When it comes to money, everyone comes from different socioeconomic backgrounds. Your beliefs about money management are likely rooted in childhood, during which you received many internalized messages about the “right” way to save or spend. As an adult, you're constantly — and sometimes unconsciously — forced to decide, on a daily basis, what's a worthy purchase versus what is too extravagant. Do you tend to make investments for the future or prioritize instant gratification? The answers to these types of questions matter.
Now that you’re aware of how important your financial responsibility is to your love life, it’s time to question what your money management style says about you.
I believe that there's a direct correlation between your financial responsibility and being positively evaluated as a potential partner in a romantic relationship.
In regards to finances, are you:
- Responsible or unreliable?
- Stable or unstable?
- Driven or unmotivated?
- Honest or untrustworthy?
- Goal-oriented or lazy?
These categories are very black and white, but financial discussions can come up early in the dating process, especially for someone looking for marriage material.
They might judge your spending habits quickly in this very stark way. I know it’s unromantic, but people may decide whether to continue dating you based off the good (or bad) financial choices you've made. Think about it: Someone will want to know there's security and safety in a future with you. He or she will want someone dependable.
Money and finances are the biggest conflict-causing topics couples face.
Being trustworthy, open and honest about your spending habits and debt is important in creating a healthy partnership because, ultimately, that’s what it is — a partnership. Your financial decisions have an enormous impact on your lives. For many, money and stress go hand-in-hand. People who date with intent are looking to find partners who will minimize their daily stress, not add to it!
So what do you do if you have debt?
Many Millennials have accepted student debt as part of life, but how you handle it makes you attractive (or unattractive). Some people pride themselves on the amount of debt they have paid off because it shows commitment, responsibility and determination. They make payments on time, avoid extravagant credit card debt and have a financial plan for the future. All these are positive qualities that are just as captivating as sex or physical charisma for many people.
Moving forward in your dating life, does your online profile need to broadcast your credit score or feature a full disclosure about your $100K debt? No, but it’s time to up your financial savvy, and learn to communicate about this important topic.
Be more aware of your spending habits, make smart(er) choices, and be prepared to communicate about money management with potential partners.
Maybe gaining greater financial stability is all you need for others to see you as a hot commodity on the dating market!