ENJOY YOUR DATING LIFE INSTEAD OF DREADING IT
Become a smarter, more intentional dater
find 'The One' AND CREATE A LOVE THAT LASTS
You deserve a committed, secure, intimate relationship.
You know…one with passion, affection, good communication and trust
You feel like it shouldn’t be this hard.
You’re sick of settling for less than satisfying relationships.
You’re tired of going out with dating duds and one-and-dones.
You’re starting to doubt whether you’ll find that physical chemistry and someone who feels like a best friend.
You want to find ‘The One,’ but can’t seem to figure out how to attract a high quality partner.
Your friends are taken and your family is putting pressure on you to settle down.
Or, maybe you’ve recently gone through a breakup or divorce and unsure or intimated about how to manage all these changes in modern day dating.
If you have to swipe left one more time you’re going to scream.
At this point you’ve realized finding a dream relationship takes work, and you know that despite hoping, your soul mate won’t magically fall into your lap.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- You keep hoping to find a high quality partner online, but you’re not getting good matches, or no one is messaging you back
- You’ve been ghosted numerous times
- You’re unsure how you’re supposed to be treated in a happy, healthy relationship
- You feel flawed, or as though you’re repelling all the good catches
- Dating gives you a ton of anxiety, and you’d rather sit at home and avoid it despite feeling lonely and wanting a relationship
- You put in effort, but your friends keep telling you that you’re not really putting yourself out there
- You struggle with confidence to approach the cute guy or girl at the coffee shop
- You’re burnt out from dating apps and wondering how to meet someone in real life (IRL)
- Your self-esteem and self-worth couldn’t get any lower
- You find something wrong in everyone you date, no matter how perfect he or she first appeared on paper
- Your flirting game is stale and you’ve got no swagger
- You struggle to move from online to in person
- You can never tell whether your new relationship is on track
- You’re sick of playing games or trying to read someone’s mind
- Your self-esteem takes a big hit every time you experience rejection
Every day I help singles with these same exact thoughts learn how to become smarter, more strategic daters.
It all comes down to what I call ‘dating with intent.’
Dating with intent means you’re looking for a serious, committed relationship.
And I can help you find one.
I’m a trained expert:
You’ve likely done your research, but I’m Samantha Burns, and I can help you uncover the secrets and implement the skills it takes to create a full, fun, thriving dating life that leads to the best, most gratifying relationship of your entire life.
Unlike many love gurus and coaches, as a Relationship Counselor and Dating Consultant, I am licensed and have a Master’s degree (and B.A) in Counseling Psychology with a concentration in couples therapy.
I’ve combined my clinical skills with a coaching approach that allows me to be more hands-on, directive, and advice giving for a fast paced, results driven process that will transform your love life.
My education and training enables me to bring my clients the best support, techniques, and evidence based practice to enable change.
I have nearly a decade of experience working with both individuals and couples to create love lives that thrive.
I’m often sought out in the media for my sage wisdom and advice, working as an expert contributor for sites such as Huffington Post, Women’s Health, Brides, Your Tango, Bustle, Elite daily, Reader’s Digest, Refinery29, and have also been featured on the Today Show, Inside Edition, and Yahoo.
What also differentiates me from other coaches is that I believe in science and data, which supports our work together, rather than just my “expert opinion” from my own life experience.
But rest assured, my personal experiences are in line with what I teach my clients. I don’t just talk the talk; I walk the walk.
My Dating Journey
It’s not that long ago that I myself was on the dating market.
I went through a soul-crushing breakup after my multi-year live-in boyfriend told me that it just wasn’t right.
To say I was devastated is an understatement.
My entire world was turned upside down; I lost the man I thought I was going to marry and I was filled with dread and resentment that I had to start over.
All of my friends were in serious committed relationships, and I felt like a failure.
However, my breakup recovery transformed my life.
It was a fresh start to get clear on exactly what I wanted in a partner, to explore and reflect on what was most important to me and what I was most passionate about.
I was able to identify my deal breakers, and vowed to never compromise on my core values again.
I not only created a confident, fun and thriving dating life, but I met my husband (online) just 3 months after my soul-crushing heartbreak.
We got engaged exactly one-year later on the anniversary of our first date.
It was clear he was my person, and he felt the same exact way. The relationship felt easy.
He quickly became my biggest supporter, best friend, and he provides the type of love I had never experienced, but always desired.
Even after multiple years of marriage we still have the kind of love you see in the movies, and it’s my real life.
Although I’m grateful, I don’t call myself lucky because I worked hard to heal my heart and intentionally and strategically dated to find ‘The One.’
It wasn’t luck that brought us together; it was a combination of self-reflection, insight, effort, having realistic dating mentalities, utilizing certain strategies and commitment to the dating process.
I’ve shared my story because I want the same for you, and I know it’s possible.
Your great love is out there and together we can find your perfect match.
In your extraordinary dating transformation, I’m going to show you exactly how to:
- Date with intent so that the next serious relationship you enter into will be with someone who has real potential
- Online date like a genius (create a standout dating profile, must-have photos, messaging tricks, moving from offline to in person)
- Meet people “organically” in real life (figure out where all the quality singles are and know exactly what to say)
- Develop more confidence, self-worth and self-love (you attract people who view you in a similar light to how you view yourself, so if you don’t value, appreciate and respect yourself, neither will your partner)
- Reflect on your love lessons learned from past relationships
- Stop repeating negative patterns and self-sabotaging behaviors
- Understand how your childhood attachments impact your adult romantic relationships
- Figure out exactly which attachment style you have and how to identify attachment styles in your romantic partners so that you can pick a complimentary style and stop wasting time on bad partners
- Grasp the four dating mentalities you must have in order to be successful in finding love
- Get crystal clear on the qualities that make a perfect match for you
- Stop comparing every new person in your life to your ex
- Identify what’s worth compromising on vs. firm deal breakers
- Know when you’re being treated the right way vs. wrong way in a new relationship
- Figure out if your new partner emotionally unavailable
- Identify whether he or she is ‘The One’
- Get the lifelong commitment you desire!
These skills and strategies are invaluable...
All of this insight and knowledge means you’ll be able to:
***Enjoy your dating life instead of dreading it***
***Feel more confidence, secure and self-assured***
***Have a sense of direction and a game plan rather than dating aimlessly and wasting your precious time***
***Feel more empowered and happy***
***Date with more confidence and clarity***
***Create more meaningful connections***
***Avoid future heartbreak since you’ll be a smarter dater***
***Quickly evaluate whether the person you’re dating is ‘The One’***
***Attract your perfect match***
***Create and maintain love that lasts***
***And ultimately live life with more joy and purpose***
Want a glimpse into what’s possible for you? Check out these TESTIMONIALS from my clients who took action to create a rewarding love life:
PAULINE K., 36
"I met Samantha at an event she hosted. I had not planned on going initially because I had a date with an eligible bachelor. When the plans I had made with this young man fell through I thought the timing couldn’t be more perfect for to attend this event and get some much needed love advice. I asked Samantha some basic questions on how to proceed with the conundrum I was currently finding myself in (being ditched last minute). The answers I got from Samantha were far from basic. She referenced science and statistics in a matter-of-fact, friendly, understandable way. At the same time these stats were completely related to my specific situation which gave me perspective that I had never had before. I decided to work with Samantha that evening because I was utterly fed up with the patterns that were continually popping up in my love life and Samantha felt like a great friend giving me super solid advice from the heart. Not only did I feel a sense of camaraderie with Samantha, but she also has a background in clinical psychotherapy, bonus!
I have now been working with Samantha for almost five months and have been immensely more productive in all areas of my life. Career, finances, self-love and worth. I make better decisions that are more in line with my values as a human being who wants to make a difference in this world. I understand that now. Before working with Samantha I was desperate and settling for behavior from men that was sub-par. Now I know what I am looking for and if a potential suitor doesn’t meet certain non-negotiables, it’s a no go. I don’t waste as much time and emotional energy because my mentality is much more focused and clear. It also feels good to be me fully expressed, and stronger then ever :)
I think, for me what has made so much of this beautiful growth possible, is that Samantha is someone that I relate to whose values and interests are in line with mine. As a millennial and a peer she is someone that I listen to and whose voice and guidance I hold in high regard because, well, for lack of a better way of saying it, she’s a cool chick. This frames the context in which I listen to her differently than I would someone from another generation.
She and I are working on my love goals and life goals and everything in between. When we speak of Mr. Right, it’s not you're looking for this, it’s “we” are looking for someone with qualities x,y,z to make the cut for a lifetime partner. She’s my coach, she gives me private and specialized instructions on how to play the so called game of love, as well as strategies to attack and defend opponents. Oscar Wilde writes, “I have the simplest tastes. I am satisfied with the best.” Well folks reading this, she’s best in my book. XO and best of luck to you on your journey toward love, and whatever it is you may seek."
NIKI K., 31:
I came to see Samantha because I was going through the 30 and single crisis where all of my friends were married and I was still surfing the Tinder wave, unsuccessfully. I always thought I just had extremely bad luck in dating and maybe I was choosing the wrong guys, but I didn't know why. Then I found Samantha and she helped me identify what is important to me in a partner and relationship beyond surface characteristics. We had very honest conversations about my past dating history and I was able to recognize that I had a pattern with my unsuccessful relationships. We worked on new strategies to use in my dating life going forward and it helped me land a new man within the first month of seeing Samantha! I have felt much more confident in my dating life knowing that I am in control and I know what to look for in a prospective partner. I often leave my sessions with Samantha thinking, “wow, I never would have thought of that”. The best part of working with Samantha is that I feel like I’m talking to a good friend who always has new, helpful, and supportive advice to share that actually makes a positive difference in my life. I am very thankful that I found her, she gets me.
MEGAN H, 30:
When I started working with Samantha I was highly discouraged about dating and felt hopeless about the idea of dating in my thirties. She encouraged me to be honest with myself about my dating past, and she gave me tips and suggestions to attract the type of men I wanted in my life. Under her guidance I came to the realization that I could no longer sit around and wait for someone to come and find me. If finding a partner was an important life goal, I needed to take charge of my dating life and make it a priority.
BARBIE H., 29:
I found Samantha during the worst month of my life. While I laugh at my two year younger self now, at the time I was in real pain. I was angry that I was still recovering from a break up from a few months prior and I wanted to be better. I knew that what I was doing wasn't working. Samantha was incredibly helpful in many ways, but the three ways she helped me the most were:
1. Realizing I wasn't alone. Everyone was in pain and everyone had felt, in some way or another, betrayed or cheated by someone they loved. We talked about the "Love Languages" and how we have to be honest with ourselves about what we need. My ex was definitely not giving me what I needed, nor I him.
2. I was strong enough to get over it. My ex lived less than a mile from me. I would tell Samantha about the anxiety that I experienced when I'd walk by all the places he and I used to go - I just wouldn't allow myself to visit them. Samantha's answer was "You're going to need to create new memories there. Each time you create a new memory, those places will detach more and more from him, and traveling there will hurt less and less." Obviously, she was right. It's kind of like working out. You teach yourself to get comfortable with the discomfort, and before you know it, it's not nearly as uncomfortable, heck, it might be easy!
3. Online dating isn't the enemy. I have told my friends this advice from Samantha over and over again. Her perspective was that this is how people are dating now. Rather than thinking of it as one constant swiping fest, think about it as going to three bars in a night, instead of one. You're opening yourself up to more people and putting yourself out there.
Okay, I guess there was a fourth. Which might be the most important.
4. Men are different than women. I know, it sounds TOTALLY obvious. But, it's not. I have always been one of the guys - I feel like I understand them. But Samantha would explain how when women talk about the future (typically), we want it to happen. When we say "I want to walk the streets of Rome with you," we freaking mean it. When a man says "I want to walk the streets of Rome with you," they mean, "I'm envisioning this and it's not making me want to die." It's like they're renting the potential dream, not actually buying it. This isn't a knock on guys - it was just an incredibly helpful way to think about getting back into the dating world. It never made me less trustworthy, just made me take those "future discussions" with a grain of salt, unless we were having a purposeful conversation about it.
While I was with Samantha, I found love and have since lost it. However, when reflecting with a family member only a few months after this second big breakup, she said, "Barbie, I'm so proud of you. You have handled this so well and level headed. And I know it's because you worked with someone for so long in Boston."
Samantha never gave me the answers. She gave me honest feedback and - more importantly - made me work on being honest with myself. Because at the end of the day - you have to know you, before you can really get to know someone else.
Todd H., 31:
“When my marriage was falling apart I was at my lowest point. Although I had a great network of family and friends to help me, I also wanted the assistance of an objective trained professional. That was when I found Samantha, who responded to me and scheduled me quickly and consistently, which was important given what I was going through.
I had learned of my wife's infidelity, and this led to us proceeding with a divorce. Samantha was great at listening and providing thought provoking questions to help me decide what the best choices were for me. My visits quickly went from triage and working through extremely challenging times, to improvement and getting me back out there. When I began dating again Samantha was able to assist with this as well. I am grateful to have found her and been able to work with her.
I am lucky to say I am now in a great spot less than 6 months later and in an extremely happy relationship. I wouldn't have improved as quickly as I did if it wasn't for Samantha and her help. I think she brings not only a professional and well-educated perspective to her business, but also a very important real world ability to understand the reality of today's dating scene.”
UPDATE: We got engaged last September, I moved in shortly after, we will be married May 20th, and heading to Italy for our honeymoon! I am very happy and am in a great spot. My relationship with Julie is extremely fulfilling and my commitment to the relationship is reciprocated. Something I never realized I was missing in the passed.
Anna G., 27:
“Samantha helped me determine whether breaking up with my long-time ex boyfriend was the right decision for me. I had a hard time letting go of someone who was such a staple in my life, but Samantha gave me the confidence to do what I knew deep down was right. I felt consumed by the stress of whether or not I should go through with my break-up. Samantha taught me to save my stress for "stress time" or for our sessions together - this helped me get on with my daily routine without so much unproductive negativity. After going through with the break-up, I felt like a weight had been lifted.
Samantha helped me determine what qualities in a partner are most important to me. She helped me establish what I can't live without and what I can compromise on. Developing such a concrete picture of what I'm looking for helped me not waste time on men who were poor matches for me, and recognize right a way when someone was a good fit. I feel lucky to have found Samantha to help me through one of the more difficult times in my life.”
UPDATE: Anna began dating an acquaintance a few months after her big breakup. They moved in together and got engaged a year later, and will be getting married this summer!
Jamie L., 26:
"Getting over my ex was a very hard thing for me to do and not only did Samantha help me through this stage in life, she also coached me to improve my life all around. I came to her depressed and angry, but through talking to her I learned to be more confident and secure in my relationships and focus on myself in order to improve more external aspects of my life. I’m now moving to NYC with my new boyfriend and in a much better place."
Your perfect match is out there, but you need to take action to find him or her! No more Saturday nights alone. No more time wasted on dating duds. No more years invested into dead end relationships. Are you ready to find the love you deserve and desire?
If you’re still reading this, you’re likely wondering how this whole coaching process works.
You will fill out the application below.
We will have a FREE CLARITY CALL during which we will discuss your biggest dating challenge, get clear on what you really want and your goals for coaching.
I will determine if we are a good fit, and then discuss my services in more detail (I will never take on a client that I don’t strongly believe I can help).
If we move forward together, we will talk via video or phone call for 45 – 60 minutes on a weekly or biweekly basis, and you will also receive email support outside of scheduled sessions, "homework" assignments, and additional resources.
I offer multi-month coaching packages, rather than one-off sessions (which is kind of like a Bandaid). This will give us time to focus on long-term change, and will hold you accountable and committed to your goals.
Your entire transformation in this empowering dating journey is what’s most valuable, which is why I am dedicated to seeing you get the results you most desire.
I only take on a limited number of clients so that you can have support and access to me..
Dating Coaching is:
- Completely confidential
- Tailored to your individual needs
- The fastest, most effective way to find a committed relationship
*I only work with highly motivated people, who are aware that real long-lasting change takes time, and who are committed to the process.
Here are a few things you’ll need to think through before starting a coaching program:
You must be motivated to make changes, which means getting outside of your comfort zone and taking action.
You must be open to receiving reflective and constructive feedback. Sometimes this means letting go of what you think you know and opening your mind to transformation.
- You must be willing to invest in yourself. This program is not cheap. If you don’t value this area of your life enough to invest in it, you’re either not committed to the process, or you don’t realize the value in it. It’s difficult to put a price tag on no longer being lonely and dealing with that gut wrenching feeling of seeing everyone else around you happily partnered up. What would you give to no longer repeat negative patterns and dysfunctional relationship dynamics that only waste your precious time, energy and love? To feel more confident and secure in yourself so that you can actually enjoy dating? To have clarity in what you're searching for, so that you can recognize it when it's in front of you and finally breathe a sigh of relief that you found your soul mate? What's it worth to you to find the love that lasts for the rest of your life?
Fill out an application:
Can't wait to connect with you!