BREAKUP COACHING

Survive your soul-crushing breakup. 

Bounce back with UNDERSTANDING, INSIGHT & self-worth

Become a smarter, more intentional dater to find 'The One'

 

In the first few days of a big breakup, you’re stuck in zombie mode, unable to eat, sleep, or function at work. It feels like death, like you’ve been punched in the gut and can’t grasp how your ex can bare to live without you.

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Life as you knew it–in love with a partner by your side–is over.

As the shock of the split wears off, you’re left struggling to manage the anger, sadness, and obsessive thinking.

You’re left questioning, “Why did the relationship end? How will you get through this? Why can’t I just move forward? Will I ever find love again?”

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • Obsessing and ruminating about why you broke up
  • Questioning whether you were enough
  • Struggling to really cut it off and stop the post breakup sex, texting, or stalking on social media
  • Mourning the loss of the future you envisioned with your ex
  • Feeling lost and confused about your purpose in life now that your relationship is over
  • Wishing you could just get over your ex already
  • Feeling full of anxiety and overwhelming sadness
  • Blaming yourself for why the relationship didn’t work
  • Fearing the process of dating again 
  • Worrying that no one will be as good as your ex
  • Scared to be vulnerable and really let someone in
  • Repeating the same negative, dysfunctional relationship patterns over and over again
  • Worrying about bringing baggage into your new relationship
  • Feeling afraid to trust yourself and your own judgment when it comes to picking a new partner
  • Feeling lost in the world of online dating
  • Lacking confidence and feeling insecure about meeting people in real life
  • Confusion about what you’re really looking for in a partner
  • Unsure how to know when you’ve met The One
  • Questioning if you will ever find real, deep, long-lasting love

I’m here to help you heal your heart and bounce back with more self-worth, confidence, and the skills to strategically land your perfect match.

It’s time to put the Ben & Jerry’s carton down and listen up! 

I’ve been there before; my heart was shattered into a million pieces after investing years of love, hope, commitment, time, effort, and finances into a relationship that ended when my live-in boyfriend said, “It’s just not right.” 

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For years we had talked about engagement and marriage, what went wrong?

Typically strong, confident and secure, I felt weak, unwanted, and not good enough. 

I was filled with dread and resentment that I had to start over.

Questions swirled through my mind, obsessing about why we broke up, how I could win him back, and why love was not enough.

I couldn’t sleep, lost weight, and I randomly burst into tears multiple times a day. 

My shock spiraled into devastation, anger and depression.

I felt rejected, abandoned, and completely alone.

What I realized is that if I was a professional therapist who knew the coping skills and had a support system, and was a strong and resilient person but felt this miserable, other people must be feeling even more emotional and isolated in their experiences.

But you’re not alone; I’m here to help.

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A big breakup is life changing.

But the change can be positive.

My breakup recovery transformed my life.

Within months, I could honestly say that I dodged a bullet when my ex ended our relationship.

You see, I not only created a full, fun and thriving dating life, but I met my husband (online) just 3 months after my soul-crushing heartbreak.

In fact, we got engaged on the one-year anniversary of our first date!

It was clear he was my person, and he felt the exact same way.

The relationship felt easy.

He quickly became my biggest supporter, best friend, and he provides the type of love I had never experienced, but always desired.

We have the kind of love you see in the movies, and it’s my real life.

Although I’m grateful, I don’t call myself lucky because I worked hard to heal my heart and intentionally and strategically dated to find ‘The One.’

It wasn’t luck that brought us together; it was a combination of self-reflection, insight, effort, having realistic dating mentalities, utilizing certain strategies, bold confidence, and commitment to the dating process.

Had I not been healed from my breakup, I would have missed out on the best thing that ever happened to me.

But I was ready, and I’m here to get you ready for great love.  

I’ve shared my story because I want the same for you, and I know it’s possible–with my help, you can not only bounce back to a fabulous and full life as a single person, but you can find your perfect match.

I’m a trained expert:

A strong support system is great, but trite advice from your friends and family won’t cut it.

You have likely realized you need the coaching and guidance of a real expert.

You’ve likely done your research, but I’m Samantha Burns, and I can help you kick this breakup in the butt and uncover the secrets and implement the skills it takes to create the most gratifying relationship of your entire life.

Unlike many love gurus and coaches, as a Relationship Counselor and Dating Consultant, I am licensed and have a Master’s degree (and B.A) in Counseling Psychology, which enables me to bring my clients the best support, techniques, and evidence based practice to enable change.

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I’ve combined my clinical skills with a coaching approach that allows me to be more hands-on, directive, and advice giving for a fast paced, results driven process that will transform your love life.

My education and training enables me to bring my clients the best support, techniques, and evidence based practice to enable change.

I have nearly a decade of experience working with both individuals and couples to create love lives that thrive.

What also differentiates me from other coaches is that I believe in science and data, which supports all of our work together, rather than just my “expert opinion” from my own life experience.

But rest assured, my personal experiences in my breakup, dating, and marriage inspire me every day. That’s because I don’t just talk the talk, I walk the walk by practicing and implementing the same skills that I teach my clients.

I’m often sought out in the media for my sage wisdom and advice, working as an expert contributor for sites such as Huffington Post, Women’s Health, Brides, Your Tango, Bustle, Elite daily, Reader’s Digest, Refinery29, and have also been featured on the Today Show, Inside Edition, and Yahoo.


In your extraordinary transformation, I’m going to show you exactly how to:

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  • Break out of zombie mode and work through the five stages of grief
  • Manage obsessive thinking about your ex and finally clear your mind
  • Understand the neuroscience of your breakup so you can really grasp why it’s consuming your life
  • Set healthy breakup boundaries, create an ex-free environment and learn essential survival skills
  • Understand why the breakup happened and find the silver lining in your heartbreak
  • Develop more confidence, self-worth and self-love
  • Identify and reflect on your love lessons learned so that you can be a smarter, more intentional dater
  • Understand how your childhood attachments impact your adult romantic relationships
  • Figure out exactly which attachment style you have and how to identify attachment styles in your romantic partners so that you can pick a complementary style and avoid future heartbreak
  • Grasp the four dating mentalities you must have in order to be successful in finding love
  • Learn to date with intent so that the next serious relationship you enter into will be with someone who has serious potential
  • Get crystal clear on the qualities of a perfect match
  • Identify what’s worth compromising on vs. firm deal breakers
  • Learn to online date like a genius (create a standout dating profile, must-have photos, messaging tricks, moving from offline to in person)
  • Best tips for meeting people “organically” in real life (figure out where all the quality singles are and know exactly what to say)
  • Stop comparing every new person in your life to your ex
  • Figure out if your new partner is emotionally unavailable
  • Identify whether he or she is ‘The One’
  • Get the lifelong commitment you desire

Which means you’ll be able to:

***Stop ruminating about your ex***

***Stop living with guilt, regret and sadness***

***Embrace more inner peace, greater understanding, and happiness***

***Get over your breakup once and for all***

***Live life with more purpose***

***Feel more self-assured and secure***

***Hit the dating scene with more confidence and clarity***

***Create more meaningful connections***

***Avoid future heartbreak since you’ll be a smarter dater***

***Quickly evaluate whether the person you’re dating is ‘The One’***

***Attract your perfect match***

***Create and maintain love that lasts***


Want a glimpse into what’s possible for you? Check out these TESTIMONIALS from my clients who committed to this life-changing work, got out of their heartbroken funk, and created rewarding lives post-breakup:

 

Barbie H., 29:

I found Samantha during the worst month of my life. While I laugh at my two year younger self now, at the time I was in real pain. I was angry that I was still recovering from a break up from a few months prior and I wanted to be better. I knew that what I was doing wasn't working.  Samantha was incredibly helpful in many ways, but the three ways she helped me the most were:

1. Realizing I wasn't alone.  Everyone was in pain and everyone had felt, in some way or another, betrayed or cheated by someone they loved. We talked about the "Love Languages" and how we have to be honest with ourselves about what we need.  My ex was definitely not giving me what I needed, nor I him.
2. I was strong enough to get over it.  My ex lived less than a mile from me.  I would tell Samantha about the anxiety that I experienced when I'd walk by all the places he and I used to go - I just wouldn't allow myself to visit them.  Samantha's answer was "You're going to need to create new memories there. Each time you create a new memory, those places will detach more and more from him, and traveling there will hurt less and less."  Obviously, she was right. It's kind of like working out.  You teach yourself to get comfortable with the discomfort, and before you know it, it's not nearly as uncomfortable, heck, it might be easy!
3. Online dating isn't the enemy.  I have told my friends this advice from Samantha over and over again.  Her perspective was that this is how people are dating now.  Rather than thinking of it as one constant swiping fest, think about it as going to three bars in a night, instead of one.  You're opening yourself up to more people and putting yourself out there. 
Okay, I guess there was a fourth. Which might be the most important.
4. Men are different than women.  I know, it sounds TOTALLY obvious.  But, it's not.  I have always been one of the guys - I feel like I understand them.  But Samantha would explain how when women talk about the future (typically), we want it to happen.  When we say "I want to walk the streets of Rome with you," we freaking mean it.  When a man says "I want to walk the streets of Rome with you," they mean, "I'm envisioning this and it's not making me want to die."  It's like they're renting the potential dream, not actually buying it. This isn't a knock on guys - it was just an incredibly helpful way to think about getting back into the dating world.  It never made me less trustworthy, just made me take those "future discussions" with a grain of salt, unless we were having a purposeful conversation about it. 
While I was with Samantha, I found love and have since lost it.  However, when reflecting with a family member only a few months after this second big breakup, she said, "Barbie, I'm so proud of you. You have handled this so well and level headed.  And I know it's because you worked with someone for so long in Boston."  
Samantha never gave me the answers.  She gave me honest feedback and - more importantly - made me work on being honest with myself.  Because at the end of the day - you have to know you, before you can really get to know someone else.

Todd H., 31:

“When my marriage was falling apart I was at my lowest point.  Although I had a great network of family and friends to help me, I also wanted the assistance of an objective trained professional.  That was when I found Samantha, who responded to me and scheduled me quickly and consistently, which was important given what I was going through.
I had learned of my wife's infidelity, and this led to us proceeding with a divorce.  Samantha was great at listening and providing thought provoking questions to help me decide what the best choices were for me.  My visits quickly went from triage and working through extremely challenging times, to improvement and getting me back out there.  When I began dating again Samantha was able to assist with this as well.  I am grateful to have found her and been able to work with her. 
I am lucky to say I am now in a great spot less than 6 months later and in an extremely happy relationship.  I wouldn't have improved as quickly as I did if it wasn't for Samantha and her help.  I think she brings not only a professional and well-educated perspective to her business, but also a very important real world ability to understand the reality of today's dating scene.”
UPDATE: We got engaged last September, I moved in shortly after, we will be married May 20th, and heading to Italy for our honeymoon! I am very happy and am in a great spot.  My relationship with Julie is extremely fulfilling and my commitment to the relationship is reciprocated.  Something I never realized I was missing in the past. 

Anna G., 27:

“Samantha helped me determine whether breaking up with my long-time ex boyfriend was the right decision for me. I had a hard time letting go of someone who was such a staple in my life, but Samantha gave me the confidence to do what I knew deep down was right. I felt consumed by the stress of whether or not I should go through with my break-up. Samantha taught me to save my stress for "stress time" or for our sessions together - this helped me get on with my daily routine without so much unproductive negativity. After going through with the break-up, I felt like a weight had been lifted.
Samantha helped me determine what qualities in a partner are most important to me. She helped me establish what I can't live without and what I can compromise on. Developing such a concrete picture of what I'm looking for helped me not waste time on men who were poor matches for me, and recognize right a way when someone was a good fit. I feel lucky to have found Samantha to help me through one of the more difficult times in my life.”
UPDATE: Anna began dating an acquaintance a few months after her big breakup. They moved in together and got engaged a year later, and will be getting married this summer!

Josh H., 42

“When I learned that my wife was having an affair, my world crumbled. I was in emotional trauma and could not function. Samantha and I worked together during my entire divorce process. During our separation, Samantha helped me to regain my sense of normalcy and I began to feel good about myself again. I’ve since accepted what happened in my marriage (this was the hardest part), started to enjoy single life, and have been having a lot of fun dating. I’ve learned a lot about myself and really increased my confidence with women.”

CYNTHIA G., 27

“I think what helped me the most was realizing that I’m not in this alone. After hearing about Samantha’s ups and downs in her past relationships and knowing that she was able to overcome these challenges and find her soul mate, it made me feel better. It can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you go through a tough breakup. Samantha was able to help me realize that you can come out of this on the other side.”


Jamie L., 26:


"Getting over my ex was a very hard thing for me to do and not only did Samantha help me through this stage in life, she also coached me to improve my life all around. I came to her depressed and angry, but through talking to her I learned to be more confident and secure in my relationships and focus on myself in order to improve more external aspects of my life. I’m now moving to NYC with my new boyfriend and in a much better place."

Are you ready to get out of this breakup misery, start living your life to the fullest, and to find the love that you deserve and desire?

If you’re still reading this, you’re likely wondering how this whole coaching process works.

You will fill out the application below.

We will have a FREE CLARITY CALL during which we will discuss your biggest breakup challenge, get clear on what you really want and your goals for coaching. 

I will determine if we are a good fit, and then discuss my services in more detail  (I will never take on a client that I don’t strongly believe I can help).

If we move forward together, we will talk via video or phone call for 45 – 60 minutes on a weekly or biweekly basis, and you will also receive email support outside of scheduled sessions, "homework" assignments, and additional resources.

I offer multi-month coaching packages, rather than one-off sessions (which is kind of like a Bandaid). This will give us time to focus on long-term change, and will hold you accountable and committed to your goals.

Your entire transformation in this healing and empowering journey is what’s most valuable, which is why I am dedicated to seeing you get the results you most desire.

I only take on a limited number of clients so that you can have the best support and access to me.

Breakup Coaching is:

  • Completely confidential
  • Tailored to your individual needs
  • The fastest, most effective way to bounce back from your breakup and find love again

*I only work with highly motivated people, who are aware that real long-lasting change takes time, and who are committed to the process.

Here are a few things you’ll need to think through before starting a coaching program:

  • You must be motivated to make changes, which means getting outside of your comfort zone and taking action.

  • You must be open to receiving reflective and constructive feedback. Sometimes this means letting go of what you think you know and opening your mind to transformation.

  • You must be willing to invest in yourself. This program is not cheap. If you don’t value this area of your life enough to invest in it, you’re either not committed to the process, or you don’t realize the value in it. What is getting what you really want in your love life worth? It’s difficult to put a price tag on no longer being in the pain of your heartbreak, breaking free from the mental anguish and rumination over your ex, no longer repeating negative patterns and dysfunctional relationship dynamics that only waste your precious time, energy and love, freeing yourself from guilt, depression and anxiety, increasing insight and self-worth, embracing self-love, truly knowing who would make a perfect match for you, enjoying a rewarding dating life, finding your soul mate, entering into a fulfilling relationship, and maintaining love that lasts for the rest of your life.

Fill out an application:

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Can't wait to connect with you!